I know I have already said this, but senior year is crazy, but life is even crazier. The past couple weeks, I have been through a lot of adjusting and have tried to make the most out of situations. But I have realized that sometimes life is just hard and it doesn’t always make sense, but God has a plan.
The past few weeks, I have been dealing with some shoulder pain during volleyball practice. I thought it was just sore so I never really said anything to the trainers about it. Then one day in practice it got really bad and I had to tell my trainer. After a couple of evaluations from a couple of different trainers, I was told it would be in my best interest to get my shoulder looked at by our team doctors because there could be more going on. At that point, I was hoping and really believing that whatever was going on would be something that would be easily fixed and I could finish out the season of volleyball. But what I found out from the doctor was less than pleasing news. After an MRI, they found a partial tear in my right rotator cuff and a full tear in my right labrum. In volleyball player’s terms, that means surgery and no more volleyball. And in my senior year, that was not the kind of news I wanted to get.
Last Friday was when I got this news and since then, my stress level has been off the charts. I was overwhelmed and angered by the news I had received. Nothing made sense…I couldn’t figure out why God would allow me to be a part of this team just to allow me to get injured so I had to sit out my senior year. Never before in my life have I had to deal with this kind of news and I had (and still have) no idea how to deal with it. But I know God has a plan. I may never know why this had to happen my senior year, but I trust that Go had a purpose.
On my way home from school on Wednesday for my brother’s wedding, my fiancee and I were listening to a podcast by Stephen Tobolowsky. This particular podcast was about an injury that he incurred. Towards the end of the podcast he said this, “Despite the trauma of an injury, the rewards are great…nothing short of seeing life with new eyes. Therefore an injury does not have to be viewed as catastrophic, but a rare, even divine gift of love.” As I heard this, I remember thinking to myself that that would be my daily mantra, and that if a grown man can make it through an injury far worse than mine, then I too would make it.
With the help and support from my amazing friends and my wonderful family and fiancee, this time in my life does not have to be a negative thing that defines me or my senior year. I am not blind to the fact that I will have some major adjustments to make and there will be many more days that I cry and am upset and don’t understand. But I will make it because my Heavenly Father tells me that his plans are not to harm me, but to give me hope and a future.
Just the other day I heard the song “Strong Enough” by Matthew West on the radio. It brought me to tears, but it also made me realize that I just need to rely on God and intentionally ask him to help me through this time in my life. I don’t know what is going on in your life right now, but God is strong enough! Take a minute to read through these lyrics and try to apply them to whatever you are going through right now.
“You must think I’m strong, to give me what I’m going through.
Well, forgive me if I’m wrong, but this looks like more than I can do on my own.
I know I’m not strong enough to be everything that I’m supposed to be.
I give up.
I’m not strong enough.
Hands of mercy won’t you cover me. Lord right now I’m asking you to be strong enough for the both of us.
Maybe that’s the point: to reach the point of giving up.
Cause when I’m finally at rock bottom, that’s when I start looking up, and reaching out.
I know I’m not strong enough to be everything that I’m supposed to be.
I give up.
I’m not strong enough.
Hands of mercy won’t you cover me. Lord right now I’m asking you to be strong enough for the both of us.
Cause I’m broken, down to nothing, but I’m still holding on to the one thing. You are God and you are strong when I am weak.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And I don’t have to be strong enough.”
As you are blessed, go and be a blessing!
~Emma